Self Checkout
The other day I became one of 'those people' at the supermarket self-checkout. You know who I mean. You might even be one of them. 'Those people' about whom everyone behind them in line says 'if you don't know how to use the self check-out, don't use it!'
There were three people ahead of me in line; Apple Lady, Banana Lady, Helpful Lady, and me, who was probably later known as Magazine Lady. But I jump ahead.
Apple lady had some freakish unknown hybrid variety of apple that wasn't listed with the produce. She scrolled through the A's; 'apple, Macintosh'; 'apple, delicious'; 'apple, granny smith'. Apparently 'apple, freakish unknown hybrid variety of' was not listed. After she had scrolled through most of the rest of the alphabet,Helpful Lady stepped up and helped her find the code on the little sticker attached to the freakish unknown hybrid variety of apple and key it into the key pad. She finished up, paid in one dollar bills that she inserted carefully into the machine, bagged up her freakish apples and the rest of her items and left.
Now it was Banana Lady's turn. Now mind you, Banana Lady had been holding forth with an amazing repetoire of audible sighs and obvious eye rolls the whole time Apple Lady was completing her order. Banana Lady had 85,000 cans of catfood - in the 12 items or fewer aisle 85,000 separate cans equals one item known as cat food - and one banana. The cat food sailed through, the machine beeping and blipping cheerily, while the computerized voice repeated 'fifty-nine cents' over and over and over. It was becoming a zen-like experience. Just as I was about to reach Nirvana she finished with the cat food and it was time to ring out the banana. Banana Lady knew exactly where to look. She started scrolling through the 'Y's. This time Helpful Lady didn't let Banana Lady's frustration build. She suggested she look under 'B' for 'banana.' Not an unreasonable suggestion. But, it turns out, the picture accompanying 'bananas' was of GREEN bananas and she had a YELLOW banana. Helpful Lady managed to convince her that 'bananas' applied to BOTH green and yellow bananas and another transaction was successfully completed.
Needless to say Helpful Lady had no problems.
Then it was my turn. The milk made the machine beep and announce the price and sailed on down the belt. Same for the yogurt and the bread. I picked 'broccoli' off the produce chart, weighed it with no problem and sent it off to the bagging area. But it's the damn impulse purchase that will get you every time. While Apple Lady and Banana Lady enacted their supermarket drama in front of me, I picked up a copy of In Style magazine. It was the last item I tried to check out. Swiped it through, heard the beep, heard the machine repeat the price, set it on its way to the bagging area. Home free, or so I thought. Halfway down the belt the magazine decided to come back. 'Credit, 3.95. Please try again.' I did. Halfway down the belt, back it comes. That computerized voice was decidedly less zen-like after the 5th try. I tried to put the magazine back in the rack where I found it but the machine now insisted that I needed help with the item and would not let me finish and pay until a human showed up to press the magic reset button. I could hear the audible sighs behind me and imagine the eye-rolling. These people had been waiting through Apple Lady, Banana Lady and now, me - Magazine Lady......
Finally a human showed up, reset the machine and I finished up, paid and skulked out of there - without the magazine. To all of you behind me in line, I promise I will never try to make another impulse purchase in the self-checkout aisle again.
There were three people ahead of me in line; Apple Lady, Banana Lady, Helpful Lady, and me, who was probably later known as Magazine Lady. But I jump ahead.
Apple lady had some freakish unknown hybrid variety of apple that wasn't listed with the produce. She scrolled through the A's; 'apple, Macintosh'; 'apple, delicious'; 'apple, granny smith'. Apparently 'apple, freakish unknown hybrid variety of' was not listed. After she had scrolled through most of the rest of the alphabet,Helpful Lady stepped up and helped her find the code on the little sticker attached to the freakish unknown hybrid variety of apple and key it into the key pad. She finished up, paid in one dollar bills that she inserted carefully into the machine, bagged up her freakish apples and the rest of her items and left.
Now it was Banana Lady's turn. Now mind you, Banana Lady had been holding forth with an amazing repetoire of audible sighs and obvious eye rolls the whole time Apple Lady was completing her order. Banana Lady had 85,000 cans of catfood - in the 12 items or fewer aisle 85,000 separate cans equals one item known as cat food - and one banana. The cat food sailed through, the machine beeping and blipping cheerily, while the computerized voice repeated 'fifty-nine cents' over and over and over. It was becoming a zen-like experience. Just as I was about to reach Nirvana she finished with the cat food and it was time to ring out the banana. Banana Lady knew exactly where to look. She started scrolling through the 'Y's. This time Helpful Lady didn't let Banana Lady's frustration build. She suggested she look under 'B' for 'banana.' Not an unreasonable suggestion. But, it turns out, the picture accompanying 'bananas' was of GREEN bananas and she had a YELLOW banana. Helpful Lady managed to convince her that 'bananas' applied to BOTH green and yellow bananas and another transaction was successfully completed.
Needless to say Helpful Lady had no problems.
Then it was my turn. The milk made the machine beep and announce the price and sailed on down the belt. Same for the yogurt and the bread. I picked 'broccoli' off the produce chart, weighed it with no problem and sent it off to the bagging area. But it's the damn impulse purchase that will get you every time. While Apple Lady and Banana Lady enacted their supermarket drama in front of me, I picked up a copy of In Style magazine. It was the last item I tried to check out. Swiped it through, heard the beep, heard the machine repeat the price, set it on its way to the bagging area. Home free, or so I thought. Halfway down the belt the magazine decided to come back. 'Credit, 3.95. Please try again.' I did. Halfway down the belt, back it comes. That computerized voice was decidedly less zen-like after the 5th try. I tried to put the magazine back in the rack where I found it but the machine now insisted that I needed help with the item and would not let me finish and pay until a human showed up to press the magic reset button. I could hear the audible sighs behind me and imagine the eye-rolling. These people had been waiting through Apple Lady, Banana Lady and now, me - Magazine Lady......
Finally a human showed up, reset the machine and I finished up, paid and skulked out of there - without the magazine. To all of you behind me in line, I promise I will never try to make another impulse purchase in the self-checkout aisle again.
posted by Granny D at
5:58 PM
1 Comments:
Hey! Thanks for all the comments on my blog. I thought I'd return the favor.
My personal checkout pet-peeve is people who take a year in line in front of me when I'm on my lunch break and I only need to buy a juice-box and a sandwich.
In the States (at least this is how I remember it, although it may no longer be true) if you get into line behind someone with a huge shopping cart full of stuff and you have only one or two things they will often... not always but often, let you go ahead. Over here this is definitely not the case. Even in situations where you both reach the line at about the same time, they will never ever offer to let you go ahead, even if they have 2 baskets worth of produce and you have a loaf of bread.
AAArrrggghhh! Thanks for letting me vent!
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