On Redefining Science and Auto Repair
Now that the state of Kansas has redefined science, imagine the possibilities that are now opened up to really explain absolutely everything.
In case you have been living under a rock, the old definition of ‘science’ in Kansas was "Science is the human activity of seeking natural explanations for what we observe in the world around us." According to the new definition science is "a systematic method of continuing investigation that uses observation, hypothesis testing, measurement, experimentation, logical argument and theory building to lead to more adequate explanations of natural phenomena." Now, we all know what this means. If observation, hypothesis testing and all these nice scientific-sounding words happen to point to a ‘supernatural explanation’, the supernatural now falls within the realm of science.
I think we can take this further. How about redefining auto repair? If the new way of defining science applied to auto repair, instead of paying a bazillion dollars for a mechanic to provide a ‘mechanical explanation’ of why my car won’t run, I can explore some other options to find a ‘more adequate explanation’ for my dead car.
First I called my friend the Reiki practitioner. She suggested that the car’s chi was blocked and hurried over. It was somewhat difficult to get the car on her portable massage table but she did manage to get the amethyst geode placed underneath it (to sop up the negative energy and turn it to positive energy). Then she began to run her hands up and down the length of the car about three inches from the surface. ‘Hmmmm’….she said thoughtfully, ‘I believe the chi is blocked somewhere under the hood.’ We opened the hood, she made some motions in the air that looked as if she was pulling strings of taffy out from the engine and throwing to the ground. Finally, looking exhausted, she was finished. I closed the hood and turned the key in the ignition. Nothing. Apparently blocked chi was not a more adequate explanation.
Next I called my friend the Wiccan. My car is not properly in tune with nature – well duh, a horse would be more properly in tune with nature but there are those pesky livestock zoning regulations. Not to worry though. He came right over with a little bag of herbs that he thought would make my car more amenable to nature. I thought they would make a nice cup of tea but he opened up the hood and placed the bag on the engine block, mumbled to himself and closed the hood. I turned the key again. Again, nothing.
By that time my fundamentalist Christian neighbor arrived. ‘This is most definitely a spiritual problem’, she explained. Had I considered that there might be some hidden sin in my life that was causing me to have car trouble? Gee, my ‘sins’ are pretty much right out there in the open so I really didn't think that was it. Nevertheless, she opened the hood, laid hands on the engine block and prayed for what seemed like hours. When she finished, I turned the key and guess what – a big fat nothing.
Finally I gave up and called the mechanic. A very nice tow truck driver came an took my car away, courtesy of Triple A. In an hour, the mechanic called. Turns out there was a mechanical explanation why my car didn’t run. It would be fixed in an hour. In an hour I turned up at the garage, inserted my key in the ignition, turned it and damned if it didn’t start right up.
Maybe there was no need after all to redefine auto repair.
In case you have been living under a rock, the old definition of ‘science’ in Kansas was "Science is the human activity of seeking natural explanations for what we observe in the world around us." According to the new definition science is "a systematic method of continuing investigation that uses observation, hypothesis testing, measurement, experimentation, logical argument and theory building to lead to more adequate explanations of natural phenomena." Now, we all know what this means. If observation, hypothesis testing and all these nice scientific-sounding words happen to point to a ‘supernatural explanation’, the supernatural now falls within the realm of science.
I think we can take this further. How about redefining auto repair? If the new way of defining science applied to auto repair, instead of paying a bazillion dollars for a mechanic to provide a ‘mechanical explanation’ of why my car won’t run, I can explore some other options to find a ‘more adequate explanation’ for my dead car.
First I called my friend the Reiki practitioner. She suggested that the car’s chi was blocked and hurried over. It was somewhat difficult to get the car on her portable massage table but she did manage to get the amethyst geode placed underneath it (to sop up the negative energy and turn it to positive energy). Then she began to run her hands up and down the length of the car about three inches from the surface. ‘Hmmmm’….she said thoughtfully, ‘I believe the chi is blocked somewhere under the hood.’ We opened the hood, she made some motions in the air that looked as if she was pulling strings of taffy out from the engine and throwing to the ground. Finally, looking exhausted, she was finished. I closed the hood and turned the key in the ignition. Nothing. Apparently blocked chi was not a more adequate explanation.
Next I called my friend the Wiccan. My car is not properly in tune with nature – well duh, a horse would be more properly in tune with nature but there are those pesky livestock zoning regulations. Not to worry though. He came right over with a little bag of herbs that he thought would make my car more amenable to nature. I thought they would make a nice cup of tea but he opened up the hood and placed the bag on the engine block, mumbled to himself and closed the hood. I turned the key again. Again, nothing.
By that time my fundamentalist Christian neighbor arrived. ‘This is most definitely a spiritual problem’, she explained. Had I considered that there might be some hidden sin in my life that was causing me to have car trouble? Gee, my ‘sins’ are pretty much right out there in the open so I really didn't think that was it. Nevertheless, she opened the hood, laid hands on the engine block and prayed for what seemed like hours. When she finished, I turned the key and guess what – a big fat nothing.
Finally I gave up and called the mechanic. A very nice tow truck driver came an took my car away, courtesy of Triple A. In an hour, the mechanic called. Turns out there was a mechanical explanation why my car didn’t run. It would be fixed in an hour. In an hour I turned up at the garage, inserted my key in the ignition, turned it and damned if it didn’t start right up.
Maybe there was no need after all to redefine auto repair.
posted by Granny D at
5:22 PM
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